As the years go by I notice that I only have myself. You try to satisfy the ones you love so that they can be happy but whatever you give them is just never enough, something always seems to be wrong in their eyes. Should life really be this way? Is it fair that the harder you try the more obstacles you have to face? I feel like I never get a break, my moments of true happiness are very limited and rarely occur if we compare it to the dark ones. Holding on by a string and having to work with what you have is so hard esp. when you know that you are not getting support from anyone and when they try to “help” all they do is criticize. You can’t live your life based on the expectations of others because they will always want you to give more no matter how much you have given already. I hate complaining but there just comes a time when enough is enough. You hold things for years and years trying to keep the harmony not knowing that while you are so focused on the happiness of others your own life slowly turns into a living hell. At times you must be selfish and learn to put yourself first because in order to really help others you must first be well physically and emotionally with yourself.
I have learned that there will always be critics no matter how perfect you try to be. I wonder how I have gotten myself into so many situations that makes me look like the bad guy when all I try to do is help others and make a difference. Sometimes I wonder if I am being punished for something that I have done but do not remember? I shouldn’t have to live with the constant fear of being observed and judged because no one is perfect and trying to be will only drive you insane. I am going to start to not care. Even though that is so hard for me I know it is something that I have to do to be able to live my life the way I want to. It’s sad to know that no one really understands and that all they do is make their own assumptions about situations they are not even aware of. But like Ashanti says
“I’m gonna close my eyes, and I’m gonna live my life. Despite what you think I’mma be free cause I’mma be me.”
It’s time to free myself from it all.
So I have to wake up really early tmrw to do a whole bunch of laundry, then go do my hair, then take a little nap, then finish packing, then take another nap, then wake up get ready and start heading to the airport around 4am!
I am going to D.R and I’m so excited but also sad bc for several reasons… I miss him so much :( I just hope my time there will help me relax and cleanse me so that i’ll be ready for school at the end of August.
But yeah so so so so exhausted!
Goodnight.
Girls, why the fuck do you think that wearing leggings everyday is cute or even appropriate? You obviously have no style and are lazy as shit in the morning. Which probably means that your too lazy to wash your ass in the morning too. If you do this you don’t look cute, you look…. yes you guess right… stupid as fucking hell.
Why do males wear shorts that are so long that they reach your ankles? They look more like high water pants. If you wanna wear long pants then wear THAT. If you wear “long shorts” that defies the purpose! If you think that makes you look like a real G, think again b/c you just look stupid as hell.
Why do ppl (esp guys) where sandals with socks… WTF? Sandals are made for when it’s hot or warm and you want to keep your feet cool. So… why the hell are you going to wear socks? If you do it bc you have ugly feet then motherfucker wear sneakers! You might as well since your already wearing socks like a dumbass. If you wear socks with sandals, get the fuck out. You look stupid as hell, stop embarrasing yourselfs.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Title: Playing God -Paramore♥
13,503 plays
Can’t make my own decisions
Or make any with precision
Well maybe you should tie me up
So I don’t go where you don’t want me
You say that I been changing
that I’m not just simply aging
Yeah how could that be logical?
Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat
You don’t have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I’ll point you to the mirror
If God’s the game you’re playing
Well we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely
To be the only one who’s holy
It’s just my humble opinion
But it’s one that I believe in
You don’t deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you
This is the last second chance
(I’ll point you to the mirror)
I’m half as good as it gets
(I’ll point you to the mirror)
I’m on both sides of the fence
(I’ll point you to the mirror)
Without a hint of regret
I’ll hold you to it
I know you don’t believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I’ll point you to the mirror
Aim to blog your own things MORE than you reblog the posts of others!
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